


For The Days When We Feel Like Shattering Glass (or, That Boy is a Mosiac)

by PennamePersona



Series: Clinic AU [22]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Gender Dsyphoria Mention, M/M, Panic Attacks, Trans Dave Strider, Trans Male Character, Weddings, high school setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 07:23:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7351420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PennamePersona/pseuds/PennamePersona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kalo Vantas is a teacher, which he finds to be intensely rewarding. One day, a student of his has a panic attack in his classroom, just after school.</p><p>A broken boy, though not in the way he thinks he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For The Days When We Feel Like Shattering Glass (or, That Boy is a Mosiac)

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this one in half an hour even though I should've been writing something else, hope y'all like it!

The funny thing about forgetting is that you've never done it.

You remember the day your parents kicked you out, the day you met Disa, the day you posted bail for Simeon, the first day you went to holding yourself, and every day in between.

And it hurts, sometimes, to keep those memories so close to your heart, especially when you can see how memories hurt those around you. You almost long for some sort of machine to erase the pain when you see Si curled in on himself, sobbing, nearly screaming, and all because of one person.

But you know better, you really do, you remember everything you learned in your college psychology courses. You know far better than to recommend forgetting.

But when you see one of your students sobbing in front of you, so close to Karkat's age, and refusing to tell you why, just breaking down in tears because he's so sure he's broken, you ache to erase the memories of whoever told him that.

He's breathing heavily now, too heavily, and you leap out of your seat and cross over to kneel in front of the boy.

"I need you to breathe very deeply and slowly for me, now, can you do that?" You ask him. "Do you need a bag to breathe in?"

"Y...yes," He pants out, and something occurs to you.

"Are you wearing a binder, son?" You ask, a memory of Karkat having a panic attack on a dysphoric day fresh in your mind.

"No!" He shouts, and you can, for just one moment, feel his pain. His ribs hurt horribly, you know, his lungs feel like they're collapsing, and in that moment, you know that this boy needs every bit of love that the universe is willing to give him, and then some more.

"I need you to take it off, it's too tight." You say. "You can use my bathroom, no need to go all the way to the men's."

"No...no, I can't, you don't understand," He says. "I can't - "

And then he nearly screams, and you feel so helpless, knowing without knowing the pain that he's in right now.

"It could crush your ribs, son." You say. firmly, but not without sympathy. "You have to take it off."

He nods, breathing slowing slightly, and walks to the private bathroom that's attached to your classroom.

You rummage around, searching for a paper bag, and manage to come up with one just as he comes out of the bathroom.

"I..." He looks so lost, and you ache again. "I don't need that anymore. Thank you, Mr. Vantas."

You almost want to tell him to call you Kalo, but you know that won't help with him, that loosening his barriers will only make them fall.

"Anytime, Mr. Strider." You say. "I have some resources that could be of use to you, if you ever need them."

He hesitates, then shakes his head. You smile, understanding all too well.

Just then, your classroom door slams open.

"Dave!" Another of your students shouts. "Thank God, are you alright? You took of your -" He stops here, looking at you. "You took it off. Are you okay? Rose and Jade and I have been looking all over!"

"I'm fine, John." Dave says. "Really, it's all okay. I just...had a bit of an episode. No big deal."

The worry in John's eyes tells you he knows far too much about how much of a big deal it really is.

"Okay, Dave." He says, then turns to the door, projecting his body language very obviously, almost as though he's dealing with a scared animal. "Come home now?"

"Yeah." Dave says, sounding exhausted.

When he gets to the door, he turns around, nods at you. You nod back, so concerned for this boy.

And then John almost jumps, he straightens up so fast.

"Uh, and thanks for taking care of him, Mr. Vantas!" He says, ever as polite as always, though you know fully well how much of a terror this prank-happy boy can be.

(You also notice his none-too-subtle emphasis on Dave's pronouns, something you catch yourself doing sometimes for the people you care about. You know then that Dave is in good hands.)

"Not a problem, Mr. Egbert. You boys should go on home, now. I'll be seeing you next week." You say. "And please, Mr. Egbert, let's not forget the homework this time."

"You got it!" He says, flashing a thumbs up, then taking a very still Dave gently by the arm and pulling him carefully along.

You go back to your desk, straighten out your things.

Perhaps it's time to visit your brother. You had planned to wait until next month, when he and Karkat would be coming by for Easter regardless, but somehow...

Somehow, you can't stand to wait.

 

* * *

 

 

You have a remarkable memory. You remember students from five years back when they visit you, tell you that your Sociology class changed the way they thought about the people around them, that you taught them so much about the world and themselves in Religion Studies, and it warms you every time.

You remembered this boy the moment he walked in your door andstumbled through signing a conversation with your daughter.

You smile, watching him up there, shaking with nerves and love, sliding a ring onto your nephew's finger, watching a tear slide down Karkat's cheek.

You feel relief in your heart as you watch them kiss.

This will work out well, you think, watching John's best man smile in pride and affection, locking eyes with his own wife, very much alive, and you feel your heart swell.

Yes, you think. This will work out well, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos are great comments are better reach me at:
> 
> pennamepersona.tumblr.com


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